"The performance of the Macintosh SE with the speed of a 28.8k baud modem"

We guarantee:

Macintosh SE Performance & reliability
If it goes down we will restart it the next morning
Connected via a high availability London Electric power link (note: the power board say if I don't start paying the bill it will be cut off, which may happen next thursday, so that will be some down time)
Excellent grammar and spelling in all written communication
A friendly service

1 (one) Redundant Macintosh SE 8Mhz
2MB System RAM
20MB Internal R.I.D. Hard Disk (very fast compared to the floppy drive)
1.44MB Floppy for high-availability backup (every month the Finder is dragged onto this)
MacTCP Fast Coax Ethernet connection to a 10Base-T Ethernet Hub (a bit croaky, found it in a puddle near a pub) connected to a fast 28.8 baud modem, which occasionally dials up to plusNet unless gran needs to order her groceries
Dual Power Supplies (+ve rail and -ve rail operate together)
Wild EEP! Sound effect each time a page is served (happened this morning apparently)